When you start studying a foreign language and you begin to speak there is mixture of excitement, doubt and hesitation. All at once. But no one really tells you that when you will speak in the language you will also be judged.
Yes, you will be judged for your accent.
You will be judged for speaking certain words the way you do.
You will be judged sometimes also for not sounding enough.
Okay so I’ve often been appreciated for my Italian accent. Yes I have. People say it’s good. Sometimes even very good. (You can listen to me speaking in Italian over here.)
And yet, there are moments when someone says: “I can hear your accent.”
And every time I hear that, I’m a little taken aback.
Because of course you can hear the accent!!
I am an Indian woman and even when I speak Hindi or English, I’m aware of how I sound.
Many times I find myself adjusting to the way I speak to my friends abroad so that they can understand me more easily. So when that same awareness on accent also enters the Italian world, it feels heavier and almost unnecessary.
Because now I’m not just learning a language. I’m navigating how I am being perceived too now! Do you see that??
A lot of my past Italian clients have openly asked me where I am from and said they asked the question because they could “hear” my accent.
And while I understand the curiosity and intention, I have to say as an adult please don’t do that.
It does not always sit right.
And I’ll tell you why.
Because when someone is speaking a foreign language, they are putting themselves out there, being vulnerable and undisguised.
And then to have someone judge solely on an accent makes the other person feel conscious. It makes people slow down and lose confidence. And trust when I say that that people like me become hyper aware of how they sound and back down.
I honestly let it trouble me in the past. I have held myself back and silenced rather than speaking imperfectly.
Not because I didn’t know what to say but because I didn’t want to feel exposed.
It only took me so many years (10!) to realize that having an accent is not a flaw.
It’s a marker of where you come from, of what you’ve learned, of the effort you’ve put in.
So I have stopped trying to hide it now.
Basta!
Because when I think back to WHY I started studying the Italian language, my goal was to connect with the Italians, to be a part of a world outside of my country that I love and adore.
My goal was not to sound more Italian!!
So now when I speak Italian even imperfectly, I am proud of my accent now.
Because it shows that I am still choosing the language from afar and showing up. And that counts for something.
Now, when someone says they can hear my accent… I try not to react and receive it differently. I try not to take it as a criticism but only as a reminder.
It is a reminder that I am speaking a language that is not mine… and I am making space for it, however the case may be.
So if you are someone who speaks a foreign language I hope this gives you permission to speak with confidence in your own voice, in your own accent.
And any time you feel put off by comments on your accent, remember, you’re not alone. I’ve felt this too. And we don’t need to hide where we come from.
We need to own our accents.
If you’d prefer to listen to this reflection, I’ve also shared it as a podcast episode here and Apple Podcasts and Amazon Music.
I made a small collection of Italian words that have no English equivalent. Words for feelings you’ve had but never been able to name. The tight feeling in your throat before you cry, restlessness you can’t explain, finding a way no matter what…….Italian has a word for all of these!! Get it here.
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